Blog post #3 :2 part question

1. What has the comments others have posted on my blog taught me about my own writing?

 

The comments others have posted on my blog makes me very interesting. It is because sharing thinking with others is very awesome. As I think sharing thinking is one of social activities, so it is social network service to me like Face book or Twitter. Besides it is better than those SNS. Because I can learn something helpful on my writing. There are 3 things that I can learn by others comments. First of all, I can revise something grammatically wrong on my blogpost. As I have some grammatical mistake on my blogpost, they told me which is wrong. If you look at the example 1, you may understand very easily. Secondly, I can know what is right and what is wrong on my topic and reason. Through this, I think more about my topic and reason. Thinking more on my topic and reason helps me to do away with stereotype. For better writing, I search more examples on the internet and book. If you look at the example 2 and 3, you may know that I am on right path on the writing. Finally, I can fix something which is not main text like citation error. Now I am considerably good at writing reference. However when I begin to write citation on my blog, my citations are very unsatisfactory. At that time, some people told me that I need more specific citation and they let me know the right way to make better citation. The example 4 shows the advice which helped me. In conclusion, I think I can learn 3 thing which is helpful to my writing by reading comments.

Ex1)

Hi A-Hyun,
Your paragraph was very intriguing and I had fun reading yours (:
I would like to give you some suggestions that can make your paragraph a bit more complete! The word 'moreover' in the third sentence should be 'Moreover.' (the letter 'm' should be capitalized since it is a starting word of the sentence. Secondly, you might want to add an 'a' in front of the phrase 'sensitive person' in the fourth sentence. Because a mother is a singular person, it is grammatically correct to add an 'a’. Besides, those small mistakes, your paragraph is well-explained and nicely arranged with concise details. (:
I hope my suggestions were helping to you!
Sincerely,
So Young Yoon

Ex2)

Hello A-Hyun,
I'm glad to read your post. Your post is specific and concise.
You are a sensitive person and you like silent area. Many people are same with you,
like me too. But you feel less tired for bright light, not same with me. My eyes are more tired for bright light, so I use medium light.

Ex3)

  

Dear Ahyun,
Your topic is so attractive because it is against common knowledge. It breaks my stereotype that Yellow Dust has only negative effects on environment. Explanation is specialized, so I can understand principal of reasons why Yellow Dust is good for environment. However, I think there are unnecessary sentence to make your topic sentence unclear. That is “Of course it has many negative effect.” Your controlling idea is helpful for our environment, but readers might recall its negative effect when they read it. Finally, there is a small mistake in spelling. You need to change a word ‘ueutralize’ to ‘neutralize’ on line 12. I wish you will write a developed article in final draft. Good luck!

Have a nice day,
Jongbum

Ex4)

Hello Ahyun,
The paragraph was very interesting! I didn't realize that the yellow dust has good points. I think it is nice to the environment without humans (I can't love the yellow dust still). Thank you for the new scientific information! However, I think you should write more exact citation. I suggest you to visit the website "http://citationmachine.net," and rewrite the citation in APA style.
Best wishes,
Yang Joon Yong

 

2) What have the comments I have posted on other blogs taught me about writing?

 

The comments which I have posted on other blogs helps me to write better by 2 ways. First of all, writing comments makes me thinking about some unfamiliar topic. When I posted my individual opinion on other blogs, I should think more and even search the internet about unfamiliar topic. It helps me to think and write more variously. For this reason, I think I can write more specifically by writing comments. Secondly, I can concern about writing better expression by writing comments. Because it is comment which is for other not me, so it makes me more consider about some expression. To sum up, I can learn 2 ways to write better and you can see several examples below this text.

Ex1)

EW2-082

W/F

Hello yuyeong Lee, you really live longtime in Changdong!

I agree with that you have memory of there.

I can empathize with you because before I moved my house to Jamsil, I live in Daechi-dong and I really miss there!

I have countless memories in there too.

For example, I have memory that I went private education institute with my friends!

I still go there because many of my friends are still live in there!

I recommend you to visit there frequently and meet your friends! It really helps you to feel better!

Have a nice day,

A-hyun

Ex2)

EW2-082

W/F

Hello sujin!

I read your second blogpost very interestingly.

I know that many high school student in Korea study on the library desk which has partition wall and I hate it too!

It makes me feel very lonely! I agree with you that desk must be tidy!

For these reason, recommend you to go 4^th floor in school library! This place is not too closed and this place is very quiet too!

Moreover there are several couches, so you can take the rest and relieve your stress in there.

I wish you can study well in there!

Have a nice day,

A-hyun

Ex3)

EW2-047

T/Th

Hi Jihye!

I read your post very interestingly! Your motivational area looks very comfortable and cozy!

I think your motivational area is good to study too!

My motivational place is school library and I want to recommend you too!

There are big couches in 4^th floor of Sejong university library. Moreover there are several study room and it can help you to do team project!

Anyway! If you will make your motivational area likes an image, please invite me! I want to visit the place!

Thanks,

A-hyun

 

Blog Draft #2

 

        Unexpected Function of Yellow Dust for Environment

  

 

Many people know that yellow dust has only negative effect on human lives. However, yellow dust is helpful for our environment for 3 reasons.  First of all, yellow dust helps prevent global warming. According to the NOAA, yellow dust cools down the Earth. Aerosol in yellow dust diffuses sunlight, and carbon in the aerosol absorbs sunlight. This lessens sunlight that reaches the ground directly. To be specific, according to the news report of IPCC, aerosol has a -2 degree effect on global temperature. It means that it cools down the Earth 2 degree. Secondly, yellow dust neutralizes acid rain, soil, and lake. Because yellow dust contains alkaline substances, it helps neutralize the acid in rain. Moreover, there is 12% of lime in yellow dust; lime and magnesium oxide neutralize soil and lake. Finally, yellow dust is really helpful to plant growth. Magnesium and potassium are very important minerals for plant. As yellow dust supplies these minerals, it helps growth of plants. For example, because rock bed of Korea is consisting of granite, soil is lack of these minerals. In this case, yellow dust is utilized as mineral suppliers. Moreover, according to the Weizmann Institute of Science, Saharan dust supplies minerals on Amazon forest. It shows that yellow dust plays an important role as supplier which gives these minerals. For these reasons, yellow dust is helpful to the environment. Of course, it has some negative effects on human. However, it makes the Earth healthier unexpectedly.

 

NOAA: National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration

IPCC: Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change

The Weizmann Institute of Science: The Weizmann Institute of Science is one of the world’s leading multidisciplinary research institutions. Hundreds of scientists, laboratory technicians and research students working on its lushly landscaped campus embark daily on fascinating journeys into the unknown, seeking to improve our understanding of nature and our place within it.

Reference
Image
Yerang, K. (2013, May 22). About yellow dust. Retrieved October 9, 2015.
Footnotes
Moongak, P. (2014, June 3). Weizmann Institute of Science. Retrieved October 9, 2015.
Contents
  (Neutralization)
Muyoung, H. (2011). The Acid Rain. About Acid Rain.
  (Reports of Weizmann Institute of Science)
Moongak, P. (2014, June 3). Weizmann Institute of Science. Retrieved October 9, 2015.
  (Reports of IPCC and NOAA)
Reports of Yellow Dust. (2004, March 1). Retrieved October 9, 2015.